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Hindsight

by tiger rider

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1.
Alpacas 02:50
She took off again to take care of alpacas And she told me to say they said hello But you’re in a pub watching a soccer match now And he’s stewing about it alone Can’t pick up the phone without divulging what I know Can’t discuss our home without indulging his control It could be that I let him off too easy Attempting to relate and equivocate Getting tired of watching the display When I have demons that haunt me in similar ways Can’t pick up the phone without divulging what I know Can’t discuss our home without indulging his control Well it’s so clear to me that what comes up must come down And auger into the ground lower than you start out Well it’s so clear to me that what comes up must come down Well it’s so clear to me that what comes up must come down
2.
Arm's Length 04:07
You froze up and then you couldn’t breathe I got so scared thought it was happening to me The ice pack brought you back from the dead But I’m left wondering what my eyes said Yours still haunt me What have they seen? We’re So afraid of looking into a face We can’t even love each other at arm’s length So afraid of looking into a face We can’t even love each other at arm’s length What she did didn’t give me a say And so the worst of her is stuck on replay But the tape isn’t immune to age You know the good and bad will both decay Did you mean to Set me free? Here we’re So afraid of looking into a face We can’t even kill each other at arm’s length So afraid of looking into a face We can’t even kill each other at arm’s length The only way that I can tell you is to make a joke Choking on my words because it hurts to be injured It might sound absurd but I’m still yearning to be heard
3.
Dear Mom 03:31
Dear mom Sorry I couldn’t stay long You gave me fifty percent And I’m scared to admit I was wrong To give into the weakness of fear And sweep it under the rug Staring the end in the face Brave like the blind are in front of a gun No matter what, I’ll love you forever And with this, it’s literally I’ll love you for good Don’t have a choice, I’ll love you forever And even if I did I’d love you for good I’ve learned that being like you is no curse You’ve given me all of the care That I swear I don’t fully deserve When the terrible things that I’ve said Leave me feeling deadened again Can I be the friend that you need Or do we bleed out from anxiety? No matter what, I’ll love you forever And with this, it’s literally I’ll love you for good Don’t have a choice, I’ll love you forever And even if I did I’d love you for good What kind of son would up and run? There doesn’t have to be a hell to hate what used to be fun And the memories of the selfish things you’ve done No matter what, I’ll love you forever And with this, it’s literally I’ll love you for good Don’t have a choice, I’ll love you forever And even if I did I’d love you for good
4.
I passed three fatal accidents on one long drive And here I am just bitching about the length of time When I’m alive and they just died, a smear of red that once was a mind I held you on the other line, and everything was going fine, just fine Then the pickup flipped and licked the pavement with a grind the passengers fled down the street and a beauty flashed her lights She took me out, then proceeded to read Miranda Rights She kept my piece but let me be, ‘cause justice isn’t blind Woah, woah! Who am I to survive? What’s keeping me here? Woah, woah! You will lie to my face Saying that we won’t disappear Ev’ry hour counts ‘cause life is only one take And your mistakes will pave the way for later greatness to be made So hear me now, shouting loud, ‘cause this is how I need to speak I’ve danced with death and disease, a malady that isn’t easily seen Woah, woah! Who am I to survive? What’s keeping me here? Woah, woah! You will lie to my face Saying that we won’t disappear But we will and that’s okay If you’re hearing this then I got my say We will be gone and it’s alright breaking apart, the heart returns to sunlight Woah, woah! Who am I to survive? What’s keeping me here? Woah, woah! You will lie to my face Saying that we won’t disappear
5.
Can I get so pale that I lose my reflection when I’m sealed away? Coffin breath and a garlic tongue frosting empty glass And when I pass this space where my face used to be I think what did you do with the kid who became so cold he froze those that he knew? Immortal isn’t normal And it shouldn’t be Immortal just isn’t normal Obsession become disease Can I march so hard to a different beat that I rise up to the moon? What’s the point of a decoration if no one ever sees my room? With such tunnel vision I will funnel self-abuse Into a flask that I put to my lips with a kiss when I need to feel my lies are true Immortal isn’t normal And it shouldn’t be Immortal just isn’t normal Obsession become disease
6.
Someone New 04:54
You’d think a taste of happiness would make it go away But it’s not and you thought it once, too It’s the reason we connected so soon And why I’m terrified to decide that I love you How can I begin with someone new And then sentence them to life with my loose screws? What if our matching attraction pushes us Violently apart like magnets forced to kiss would do? Maybe this dream is fantasy? To think that I could be just as sweet and complete of a man as my dad was for me Hard to take care of one; imagine a mouth to feed How can I create someone new And then sentence them to life with my loose screws? What if our matching distraction pushes us Violently apart like magnets forced to kiss would do?
7.
Why Hide? 03:02
I burn like UV rays Piercing a hole through the gray But I can’t stay fixed on anyone’s gaze Maybe they should lock me away? Can you hold two opposing thoughts in mind at the same time? Yeah! If we could project our dreams Heaven knows they won’t be clean Yeah! Truth is soon to go extinct So why hide anything I’m like a half-written sign I’ve gouged out my third eye So hard to arrive on time when you find no meaning in lies Can you hold two opposing thoughts in mind at the same time? Yeah! If we could project our dreams Heaven knows they won’t be clean Yeah! Truth is soon to go extinct So why hide anything?
8.
Even though I know only villains rush to blame livin’ with Stockholm Friendship is emotionally draining No one made of skin and bone could say they haven’t sinned But when you stay opaque you fail to see the fault within So up above and down below There’s a troll who rolls the dice to decide whether the dark in our hearts grows And if you tell me that it’s Two Well, the Other’s just a reflection laughing back down at you! And if you tell me that it’s Two Well, the Other’s just a reflection laughing back down at you! Now we have to cringe when a memory still burns You apologize for everything but I thank you in return There is light and there is void in every soul I’ve seen But you can’t fill a hole with waste and expect it to be clean So up above and down below There’s a troll who rolls the dice to decide whether the dark in our hearts grows And if you’re selling me a hoax Then no creator could design a bleaker punchline to the joke And if you tell me that it’s Two Well, the Other’s just a reflection laughing back down at you! And if you tell me that it’s Two Well, the Other’s just a reflection laughing back down at you!
9.
The Prince 04:07
I told you that some people act like The Prince No sympathy for the Machiavellian So keep an eye on those who only want to win This zero sum game makes us all villains Nobody gets away Play the way you must obey They don’t know you You don’t know them I’ve spent too long as a pessimist When my gut yearns for a more positive spin Too old to be someone innocent Not born with but practiced original sin Nobody gets away Play the way you must obey They don’t know you You don’t know them You don’t know you They don’t know them
10.
I swapped for summer sheets The winter comforter was far too warm Instead of counting sheep The heat had beaten us and sent you home But now we’re diving deep And oxygen is running low Pressure is squeezin I’ll be your breathing I’ll be your breathing I’ll be your breathing The way you’re beautiful Transcends the sensory and visual Gut punch ahead of me Your calming certainty converts the blow But now we’re diving deep And oxygen is running low Pressure is squeezin I’ll be your breathing I’ll be your breathing I’ll be your breathing
11.
Being Right 02:43
Is this fact or crucifixion? The way you argue’s not unlike Being held up with a knife Such contempt for what’s outside your mind And what you think is best always yours and never mine So obsessed with being right That you keep your gate held tight So obsessed with being right And you know it’s not too bright Is this truth or an opinion? The way you choose your hill to die Based on some misguided pride I know that most of us are semi-blind But a horse goes crazy when it sees both of its sides
12.
Hindsight 01:40
13.
This Feeling 03:45
Yeah, I’m happy for you Yeah, I’m happy for you It’s true; so why do I feel bruised? You know I can’t tell you what to do No I can’t tell you what to do But it’s moot; you never asked me to Yeah, this feeling sucks I just wish it was us Microscopic judge Makes me nervous to touch Tortured by my jealousy Tortured by my jealousy It disgusts me (but I can’t be free) venomous envy You’ve engaged in blasphemy You’re engaged according to a Creed of arbitrary needs You put a deadline on my future And there isn’t a debate If you’re picking at a suture It’s a self-fulfilling fate
14.
Stay Here 05:11
Let me begin by being clear that I find no glamor in this I need no slap on the wrist to be sure that my life is close to perfect But maybe that’s what hurts the most about this very verse I’d be the first to admit it’s ridiculous to think my pain is worse Or even worthy of your time I’ve been so far away from being close to someone for so long I forgot how to do it right But when did I ever know, with a youth spent staring out the car window In the same catatonic state that I find myself in today? Hey, this isn’t a video game And when the dawn comes along you’re not gonna respawn Stay here--you’ve only got one shot Face your fear that nothing near is real Do you ever get that funny feeling when the hair on the back of your neck Is standing erect like you’re detecting an imminent threat? Well, I expect to be subjected to this on a daily basis Stuck in stasis, weightless, when a year shrinks down to a week And an hour becomes one blink Hey, this isn’t a video game And when the dawn comes along you’re not gonna respawn Stay here--you’ve only got one shot Face your fear that nothing near is real

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released January 18, 2022

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tiger rider Seattle, Washington

tiger rider is a 3-piece indie rock band from seattle

nick (guitar/vocals) heather (bass/vocals) patrick (drums)

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